Meet the Parents
by rocks at my window
Summary: In which Kim introduces the idea of meeting her parents to Jack, and the idea becomes a reality. Two-shot. Pure-dialogue. Jack/Kim.
1. You Should Meet My Parents

**Hey guys! Here's my first ever pure-dialogue shot. Hopefully you guys like it…**

**Rated T for suggestive content and a curse word. Nothing too intense.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kickin' It.**

"Guess who?"

"I know it's you, Brewer."

"Clever Kimmy."

"Shut up Jack. We may be dating, but that does not reserve you any right to call me _Kimmy_."

…

"Anyway, you know how we've been dating for a while?"

"Ten months and seven days."

"Genius. Well, you see, I think… it's time."

…

"Whoa, wait, what?! Kim, we're sixteen – no, we are not going to do that, I have my restrictions as awesome as I am –"

"I'm not talking about _that_ you idiot!"

…

"That hurt Kim."

"Sorry Jack."

"I was _talking_ about _meeting my parents_."

"Oh."

…

"Ohhh…"

"Yep."

"_Meeting your parents_? Kim, I'm not sure if I'm ready to meet your parents."

"And why's that?"

"Well, it's just that… they sound pretty fierce, from how you describe them."

"Well, yeah. So?"

"What if they don't approve of… _us_? Does that mean we can't date, or…? I mean, where would _that_ place us?"

"So you're not actually worried about meeting my parents, you're just worried they'll deny you the opportunity to date yours truly and we'll resort to become Romeo and Juliet?"

"Yes."

"That's so stupid."

"Well _sorry_ for caring."

…

"Oh shit. You're right."

"Hmm mm."

"What if they don't agree…? No – my parents are perfectly rational people. They will _accept_ our relationship, despite – no wait."

"Despite what?"

"Uh, nothing."

"Kim, I shall tickle you to death until you tell me."

"No."

"You asked for it."

…

"Okay! Fine! Jack! I'll tell you!"

"Excellent."

"So you see, my parents aren't exactly… _into_ you."

"Well I hope not."

"Well not in that way!"

"Go on."

"Ever since I was little, they wanted me to be a perfect little princess with a halo over her head, and –"

"Shouldn't it be a tiara? I mean you _are_ a 'perfect little _princess_' –"

"JACK!"

"Sorry."

"Anyway, basically when I started karate, the idea horrified them. And it still does. In fact, I saw a few beauty pageant forms on my mom's desk the other day."

"Oh gross."

"Exactly. So anyway, if they see that I'm now dating _Jack Brewer_, the most aggressive and skillful fighter there is –"

"Aw, shucks."

"- can you imagine how they'll react? I'm dating a guy who willingly gets into fights, for god's sake!"

"Whaaaaaat? Pssh – I don't –"

"You punched Mike in the nose the other day after he tried to hit on me."

"Because I _care_ Kimmy."

"And that's sweet. But my parents can't know about stuff like that. Correction – they _already know_."

"Ah."

"So basically, I have to convince them that you're not a psychopathic, karate-obsessed, egoistical maniac, and that you're actually a really nice and protective person who just cares an excessive amount about karate."

"Gee, thanks."

"Actually, you'll be doing most of the work."

"What?"

"Oh come on, as if you didn't see it coming."

"Ah."

…

"So when _am_ I going to meet your parents?"

"Uh… here's the awkward part…"

"Kim…"

"I've already told them you'll be seeing them tomorrow night…"

…

"Jack! Please! Stop tickling me!"

**And there you go, my first ever pure-dialogue shot. Hope you enjoyed it. Feel free to drop a review :)**

**-Sienna**

**PS: There is a potential sequel… *waggling eyebrows mysteriously***


	2. Let's Actually Meet Kim's Parents

**Hey guys! I got more reviews than I thought I would get, and that motivated me to spin out this sequel for you guys! Since so many of you followed, I decided to just post it as the next chapter. Initially it was going to be a separate one-shot altogether.**

**Hopefully you guys like this. I have pretty mixed feelings about it, so….**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kickin' It, Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings.**

"Jack…"

…

"Jack…"

…

"Ow-ow-ow-ow – JACK!"

"Huh? What? What is it Kim?"

"Let go of my freaking arm!"

"Oh… sorry."

"Jeez, are you _that_ nervous? I've never felt such a tight grip from you before."

"Kim, I'm _meeting your parents_."

"Yes Jack, I'm nervous about it too. Sometimes you're such a blockhead, it really makes me worry."

"You're not helping."

"Fully aware of that."

"I just really hope they like me."

"They will, Jack. And it's nice you care so much. Now unless you want to be late, I suggest we get a move on."

"Are we walking…or?"

"Obviously not, Jack. You gotta drive a girl around, don't you?"

"But I can't drive! I haven't started driver's ed!"

"Yikes. Well, I guess we're walking then."

…

"But remember to lie and say you have a car."

:::::::

"Kim, I can't."

"Jack, it's just a button."

"It's the Button of Destiny."

"As if."

"Once I press it, there's no way out."

"You could always be juvenile and run away after ringing it."

"Jeez, isn't that the best way to make a great first impression!"

"Fine, if you're not gonna press it, _I'll_ press it."

"Wait!"

"What?"

"Do it gently."

"Why?"

"It's the Button of Destiny. It deserves respect."

"Jack, _please_ don't tell me you're gonna act like this in front of my parents."

"No, of course I won't – oh hi, Mr. Crawford!"

"Hey Dad."

"Ah, Jack, good to finally meet you. How are you?"

"Very good sir. And you?"

"Exceptionally brilliant."

"Oh, are you from Britain?"

"_Ahem, ahem_…"

"Do I have to a Brit to say 'brilliant'?"

"No, sir."

"And by the way, I'm from _Texas_. I just speak sophistically because of my four years of schooling in London."

"Oh, I see sir. Uh, very good of you sir. Well done sir."

"Jack, stop punctuating every sentence with 'sir'. We're not in the army."

"Ah, I won't do it anymore sir – I mean… yeah."

…

"I've made a _terrible _first impression!"

"Shut up Jack… you're about to meet mother hen."

"Ah, Jack! Kimberly's new boyfriend – so nice to finally meet ya!"

"Wonderful to meet you too, Mrs. Crawford."

"Oh please, call me Cheryl."

"Really?"

"No. You even bother asking, boy?"

"Sorry Mrs. Crawford."

"Tut-tut. Well, I'm going to go clean up –"

"Whatever for?"

"Excuse me?"

"You already look lovely, ma'am."

"Stop trying to be a kiss-up, Jack. I have pasta smeared over my apron and splatters of tomato in my hair. I don't look _lovely_. Hmph."

…

"Ow! Jack, what's wrong? And let go of my hand!"

"Sorry. I'm just really nervous. This doesn't seem to be going too well."

"Tell me about it."

"Kim!"

"Sorry, _supportive girlfriend_. _Supportive girlfriend_…"

"What should I do?"

"Just chill and _be yourself_. You're nice enough as you are, Jack. Just be polite – but not over-polite, crack _witty_ jokes and not Jerry-jokes, and make it sound like you're really _the man for yours truly_."

"It's not as easy as it sounds."

"Of course it isn't Jack. Nothing in life is easy. Now –"

"Kimberly? Jack?"

"Coming Mom! And quit calling me Kimberly!"

"Just come, Kimberly!"

…

"You see what my daughter's like, Jack? So rude. Be polite about it, Kimberly, if you wish for me to stop calling you that."

"Mother, _please_ stop calling me Kimberly. It gives me a _dreadful_ stomachache, _sob, sob_…"

"_Kimberly…_"

"Jack, are you a fan of football?"

"Oh, yeah, sure."

"You sound very non-committed."

"No, I mean, I enjoy watching the games but I'm not like, super into it and stuff. Plus I play really badly."

"It's true. He can barely throw a football."

"Kim!"

"_Jack_!"

"Kimberly, what is with you and all this mocking?"

"It's the Circle of Life, Mom."

"That hardly makes sense."

"I know."

"Back to Jack – you can't throw a _football_? It's basics for boys!"

"I'm just not very good at it…"

"And you can throw a mean punch, I hear? And you smashed through a dojo wall? And you defeated four karate students all by yourself? And after all that, you _can't throw a football_?"

"Trust me, sir – I mean, Mr. Crawford – I'm just as bewildered as you are."

"Jack, I hear you have violence issues? Is that true?"

"No, no, definitely not. I just stick up for others when they're in the face of danger."

"But I hear you once willingly punched a guy."

"He was openly-flirting with Kim, Mrs. Crawford. And he knew very well we were dating."

"This simply proves something."

"Yes?"

"I'm very torn."

"Umm…"

"Jack!"

"Yes, Mr. Crawford?"

"What do you and Kim do together?"

"Oh. Um…"

"Jack and I –"

"No, Kimmy –"

"Great, another_ stupid_ name."

" – Let Jack answer!"

…

"Well, we hang out a lot."

"That is all?"

"Basically sums it up. We meet in between periods and have lunch together. After school we head to the dojo together. Sometimes when we don't have practice, we head out to the mall or something."

"Interesting."

"I hear you _Warranty Warriors_ –"

"Mom, it's _Wasabi Warriors_!"

" – embark on very…uh, _interesting_ adventures."

"Oh, um, we do."

"And what would you do, if my Kimberly was to be _attacked_ or _injured_ during all havoc?"

"Obviously I'd be mad. I'd hurt her offender if I could. But Kim's also awesome at karate. She'll be able to take anyone down. Other than me, of course."

…

"We're not amused."

"Oh, sorry, Mr. Crawford."

"Are you doubting our Kimberly's ability, Jack?"

"No, of course not Mrs. Crawford –"

"Mom! Dad!"

"What, Kimberly?" "Yes, Kimmy?"

"Jack doesn't doubt my ability. It's just that we've sparred and he's always won."

"And he never bothered to throw the fight or go easy on you?"

"Believe me, Mr. Crawford, I have – but Kim here didn't quite appreciate it. So now, I always give my all, whether sparring with her or not. Because it's something she taught me. Sometimes people want a bit of a challenge. Belittling them isn't going to help them improve."

"I see. How very insightful."

"Thank you, Mrs. Crawford."

:::::::

"Goodness! It's already nine!"

"Well, then we better ask him our final question, right Joe?"

"Yes – Jack?"

"Yes, Mr. Crawford?"

"How do you feel about my daughter?"

"Dad, isn't this all kinda personal to Jack?"

"No, Kimmy, it isn't. Now _let Jack answer_."

"Oh, um… I like her a lot."

"Of course you do, if not why are you dating her?"

"Dad, I'd rather not be here while Jack pours his feelings out about me –"

"No, Kimmy, you're staying. Now _let Jack elaborate_."

"Elaborate?"

"Yes, Jack. Why the tone of surprise?"

"Oh! I know that reference!"

…

"Lord of the Rings, right?"

"_Harry Potter_!"

"Oh, sorry."

"Don't you read?"

"Yes, but not those books."

"You better. Kimmy's a big fan."

"I know."

"Now elaborate on your relationship with Kimmy."

"Um, well… we met three years ago. It was my first day of school and I sort of impressed her by doing a hacky-sack trick with her apple when she dropped it. After that we were just friends, although there was this little annoying voice in my head telling me we were something more. Then when I was fourteen, I realized that I actually _liked_ Kim. And when I was fifteen, and I saw her with that Brett guy –"

"Ah! Brett! I remember him! Now _he_ can throw a football!"

"You know what?!"

"Jack, sit down and continue the nice story…"

"No, Kim, I won't! The entire night, all your two have been doing is insulting me and subtly criticizing me. And I can't take it anymore! Does it matter that I can't throw a football? Does it matter that I do karate and defend as much as I can? Does it matter that I'm not into the kind of books you guys are into? No! Yet you guys make it seem like one big fat deal! Why? Doesn't all that matter is that Kim is happy with me and I'm happy with her? I _love_ – yes, I _love_ Kim, and if you guys don't let me date her, I'm going to explode and become Romeo! And she'll be Juliet."

…

"Jack, you may leave."

"Gladly. Goodnight, Crawfords."

:::::::

"Jack! Jack! They approve!"

"They approve?"

"Yes!"

"Oh god why? Didn't you see the scene I made? I criticized them and didn't even say a proper goodbye – 'Goodnight, Crawfords!'"

"But Jack, after you professed your love for me, they realization dawned and they came to their senses! And after asking me all about you and the kind of guy you really are and how much _I_ like you, they agreed!"

"Kim, that's amazing!"

…

"Is it true that you love me?"

"Of course, Kim. Why else would I say it in front of _your parents_?"

"I see. Well, I just wanted to say that I love you too."

"That's amazing."

…

"Oh, hey, Kim?"

"Yes Jack?"

"You do realize we've only met with _one_ pair of parents?"

"Oh shit."

**Did you guys like it? Please drop a review and tell me! **

**Oh, and just so you guys know, this story is officially done. I won't be showing how Kim meets the Brewers, because the Brewers have always been pretty nice in my head, so it won't be as interesting.**

**Thanks to you guys for reading and reviewing!**

**~Sienna**


End file.
